


Page 42

by DrawYourGunsR5



Series: A Thousand Times Yes [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Christmas at the Agency, Dirk Gently's Holistic Gift Exchange, I hope you enjoy it Ethan, I put a lot of love into this, IT'S GAY, M/M, happy holigays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrawYourGunsR5/pseuds/DrawYourGunsR5
Summary: Dirk decorates the apartment for Christmas, Todd adores it.





	Page 42

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prince-of-the-jellies](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Prince-of-the-jellies).



When Todd got home on that cold December night, he only half expected what he’d walk into. Dirk said he wanted to decorate the apartment, Todd expected an explosion of snowmen and angels. In his mind he pictured the alternate universe Cardenas House, but with Christmas colours and no pink at all. Wild and crazy, just the right amount of _Dirk_. So when he walked in, after shopping for the gift Dirk insisted he buy, (“it’s not Christmas without the presents, Darling,” Dirk argued) Todd was shocked at what he saw.

“Dirk?” He called out. Distracted by the world around him, he lazily took his shoes off and brushed the fresh snow off of his jacket. Todd followed the mystery into the kitchen.

Dirk popped out of the bathroom and hopped onto the kitchen counter, sitting beside the paper bag that held his gift. “Just finished putting up the new shower curtain. Try not to wear this one, Darling.”

Todd rolled his eyes. “That was two years ago. Let it go.”

“Why would I do that?” Dirk tested. “So what did you get me?” He leaned over and tried to reach into the bag.

Todd grabbed it fast enough and pushed it away from Dirk. “You still have a week before you can see that.”

Dirk pouted and puppy-eyed. It was adorable.

Todd had to cover his eyes. “No. No. It’s not going to work. Not this time.”

Dirk grabbed Todd’s hands and pulled them off of his face. “Oh come on. Why can’t we exchange gifts tonight? I really want to know!” He begged.

Todd rested his hands softly on Dirk’s hips. “You wanted to do Christmas the right way this year. So we’re doing it the right way. No gifts until the 25th.”

Dirk pouted again and ran his fingers through Todd’s hair. “You got snow all over you,” he mumbled.

Todd chuckled and lifted himself onto his toes. He pressed a kiss softly to his partner’s pouty lips. After a few hot seconds, he pulled away. “So, are gonna give me the grand tour? The place looks brand new.”

“Oh!” Dirk hopped off the counter and grabbed Todd’s hand. “First the living room.”

Dirk pulled Todd around. Excitedly showing him every detail. What shocked Todd the most was how simple it all was. There were no fireworks and explosions to greet you. There was a Christmas tree without any ornaments, because that was something they would do together so Todd could tell Dirk the story of each one. The fireplace had fake snow sprinkled around it, and little snowmen playing in the snow. The pillows and blankets on the couch were replaced with Christmas themed items. Three stockings hung over the fireplace, each with the first letter of their respective owner. Dirk didn’t know why Todd laughed so hard at “D. T. F.”

Next was the kitchen, which didn’t have too much changed. The refrigerator now had over a handful of Christmas themed magnets all over it; snowmen, snowflakes, presents, gingerbread men. Then, Dirk even bought and Santa shaped bar of soap for the kitchen sink.

Lastly, the bathroom. It had a matching Santa soap bar, and towels organized in a wonderful red-green pattern. The new curtain was covered in red and green polka dots. It was so simple, and so beautiful.

“So what do you think?” Dirk begged eagerly.

Todd smiled awkwardly, as he always did. “It’s wonderful. But one question.”

“Hm?”

“Where’s Mona?” He begged, sincerely concerned that Mona was now a shower curtain that would see him naked everyday until Christmas.

Dirk smiled as if the answer was obvious. Of course, when he said it, it did seem like the only possible answer. “Mona’s the tree.”

After a long week of “If you tell me what you got me, I’ll love you forever”s, Christmas finally came. Dirk woke up feeling as if the world was brand new; there was a smile on his face as he remembered the events of the night before. Todd had made them a nice dinner, they watched a couple Christmas movies, and decorated Mona while Todd told Dirk a million stories of his growing up. It was so blissful and perfect. They went to bed together and fell asleep with their hearts full and a plate of cookies setting out for Santa. In the morning, the blissful feeling in Dirk’s chest only continued as he woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon. Todd’s arm was still sitting on Dirk’s waist. Dirk grabbed his hand kissed it softly. Todd, who was an awfully light sleeper, woke up to that.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Todd grumbled.

Dirk rolled over to face Todd. “How is it that every night when we go to sleep I’m the big spoon and when we wake up I’m the little spoon?”

Todd rubbed his eyes awake. “I must be a top in my sleep.”

Dirk’s face turned bright red. Talking about their sex-life outside of the actual sex was still wildly new to him.

“Do you smell pancakes and bacon or is this the cruelest para attack?” Todd questioned.

“That must be Farah making breakfast. If not, we have some pretty nice burglars.”

The couple got out of bed and followed the scent into the kitchen. Dirk was right, as always. Farah was in the kitchen, still in her pajamas as per their agreement, making breakfast.

“Hey, merry Christmas guys! Breakfast is almost ready. Nice pajamas.”

Todd was confused for a moment before remembering that him and Dirk were wearing matching Christmas pajamas. “You bought these for us, Farah. If we didn’t wear them I’m convinced you would have shot us.”

Farah scooped up a couple pancakes and slid them onto a plate. She rolled her eyes at Todd and handed him a plate. “Go sit down and eat. I need to talk to Dirk for a second.”

Todd wasn’t in any position to argue. He took the plate to the living room, said good morning and merry Christmas to Mona, and sat on the couch and began eating.

“So, did you get the… _thing?”_ Dirk asked as quietly as he could.

Farah nodded with a soft smile and whispered back to him, “It’s at the bottom of his stocking.”

Dirk beamed. “Thank you so much for helping me, Farah. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to pull this off without him finding out.”

Farah handed Dirk a plate of food. “Go get him, Tiger.”

Before Dirk followed Todd into the living room, he smothered his pancake in syrup and whipped topping. Seriously, how that man can eat that much sugar and not have a heart attack every day, blows Todd’s mind every second.

Todd almost made a comment on it, but decided not to. It was cute to see Dirk on a little sugar high, anyway.

“So,” Dirk said after swallowing a bite that was most definitely only whipped cream, “when do we do gifts?”

“A little eager there, aren’t you?” Todd interrogated.

“What? No! Not at all! We could wait all day. I wanna do this the right way. The traditional traditions of the Christmas… traditions?”

“You’re really desperate to find out what you got, aren’t you?”

“ _So, so_ much,” Dirk caved.

Todd chuckled. “After we finish eating we do gifts.”

Dirk was sure to eat as fast as he could, causing himself to get the hiccups. They subsided quickly, after Todd rushed to get him a drink of water. Soon, Todd and Farah finished eating, Dirk was already prepared to hand out the gifts. It took him approximately 28 seconds to pass them out to their respective new owners.

“Who’s first? Can I be first?!” Dirk begged. He acted like a little child on Christmas morning. Of course, it was Christmas morning and he always acts like a little child when he gets excited.

Todd and Farah side-eyed each other and allowed Dirk to open his gifts first. He tore into the box from “Todd <3”. Once he got it open, which was slightly difficult considering all of the tape Todd put on the thing, he opened it to reveal and brand-new jacket. It was a way-too-shiny gold leather jacket, with red and green stripes going up the arms.

“Todd! It’s beautiful! I love it,” Dirk gushed as he hugged the jacket close to his chest.

Todd let out an awkward sigh of relief. He was truly worried that Dirk was going to hate it, but the jacket seemed so perfect. Maybe his _hunch_ was right this time.

Dirk leaned over and kissed Todd softly before beginning to open the envelope from Farah. He pulled out the little piece of paper and read it carefully. “Farah, are you sure this is right? This is a check for $200.”

Farah nodded. “No, it’s right, Dirk. I couldn’t figure out what to get you and I figured, Who knows what Dirk wants better than Dirk? So there’s the money to buy yourself whatever gift you want.”

Dirk clicked his tongue and let out a soft “awww” as he gave Farah a side hug. “Okay, your turn to open.”

Farah chuckled at Dirk’s excitement and opened her gift from Todd first. He got her a lovely new pair of brass knuckles fully equipped with a hidden pocket knife.

“Oh, hell yeah! These are so cool!” She tried them on and faked a couple practice swings.

Todd laughed. “Yeah, I figured since I lost the pair you gave me, I owed you some new ones.”

“Yes, you did. Thank you.”

“Okay! Mine next!” Dirk exclaimed. He pushed a small box closer to Farah.

As she unwrapped it, Dirk fidgeted in his seat.

Todd set a hand on Dirk’s shoulder. “You good?”

“I just hope she likes it,” He whispered.

Once she had it open, the tears started welling up in her eyes. “Oh my God, Dirk,” her voice shook.

“What is it?” Todd asked.

“It’s... um-” Farah cleared her throat. “It’s a picture of me with the Spring family and Pepe.” She turned it around to show Todd.

The picture showed an adorable 6-year-old Farah on Patrick’s shoulders, looking down at Catherine holding baby Lydia. Behind them was a giant rhino Todd recognized as Pepe. Everyone looked so genuinely happy. Todd looked at the date the picture was taken, it was a month before Catherine was killed.

Farah turned the framed picture around again so she could admire it some more. “I’ve been looking for this photo for years, Dirk. How did you find it?”

“Remember when Todd and I went to Seattle so I could meet his parents six months ago?”

Farah nodded.

“We added in a trip to the Spring Mansion. I found a random flash drive and everything on it was destroyed except that picture,” Dirk explained proudly.

“You told me you didn’t find anything on that flash drive,” Todd inquired.

“Yes, Todd. I lied to keep it a secret. I couldn’t have you blabbing and telling her what I got for her and whole _six months_ in advance,” Dirk jabbered.

“I have never blabbed!” Todd defended.

Farah giggled at the guys. “Either way, thank you. This means a lot to me.”

Dirk smiled brightly at her and then turned to Todd. “Okay, Darling. Open Farah’s first.”

“Okay…” Todd mumbled as he reached for the _only_ gift sitting in front of him. He unwrapped it and instantly began laughing. “Really? You’re never going to forget this are you?” He picked up the sketch pad and flicked the pages blindly.

“What? You’re a good artist! You should really draw more.”

“Todd, you can draw? How come I never knew this?” Dirk begged.

“Because I’m terrible. Farah only says I’m good to pity me.” Todd admitted.

Farah was quick to argue. “That’s not true! When we were on the run you drew some really good stuff. It was a shame you threw it all away before Dirk could see it.” She turned to Dirk. “He would draw to help the time pass when we didn’t have any leads. Most of the time he was drawing you.”

Dirk and Todd both began blushing furiously at that.

“Todd, that’s so sweet. You’ll have to do more so that I can see it!” Dirk begged.

“Maybe…”

“Maybe you should start on page 42,” Farah suggested.

“Why page 42?” Todd questioned.

Farah took a sip of her coffee. “You’ll see.”

As Todd began searching for page 42, he saw Dirk reach for something in his stocking out of the corner of his eye. When he found the page, his heart stopped. Right there in giant letters, written in the most beautiful handwriting he’d ever seen (Dirk’s) were the wonderful words of: “Todd Brotzman will you marry me?”

He dropped the book and saw Dirk, kneeling in front of him with a little red box in his hands. Dirk was slightly shaking out of nervousness, everything at once came down to this moment. Nothing else seemed to matter, as long as he can get the words right at this point in time. The universe was counting on it.

He cleared his throat. “Todd, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I never thought I deserved to have someone like you in my life, but here you are. I expected you to leave by now, but you haven’t and I think that may just be because we were made for each other. You’re the love of my life and I want the world to know how much I love you. So, Todd Brotzman, will you marry me?”

It took Todd just the amount of time Dirk was talking to remember how to breathe again. He swallowed that stupid lump in his throat and he extolled the only answer that he could possibly give. “Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes. I will marry you.”

Dirk began laughing the purest laugh the universe had ever heard. He slid the ring carefully on Todd’s finger and began kissing him as if his life depended on it. Through the kiss they tasted each other's tears and happiness. There had never been a happier moment than this. After deciding they both needed to breathe, they broke the kiss and just held each other in a tight hug.

“I love you so much,” Todd whispered into Dirk's shoulder.

A few more seconds passed and Farah jumped over to sit closer to the guys. “Okay, come on! I wanna see the ring!”

Dirk unwrapped his arms from Todd and pulled himself up to sit on his lap. Todd held his hand out for Farah to see the ring. She snapped a couple pictures of the ring and of Dirk and Todd together.

“I promised Amanda I’d send her pictures when it happens,” Farah explained.

“Amanda knew you were going to do this?”

“Well, I had to ask her permission,” Dirk answered.

Todd set his newly decorated hand on the back of Dirk’s neck and pulled him into another kiss. He couldn’t get his mind to slow down, but he didn’t really care. Everything in this moment was perfect. His heart was full and he couldn’t think of any other life he’d rather be living. Looking back on all the years, he couldn’t pinpoint any moment he was _ever_ as happy as he in right now. Life was a mess, but it was all worth it with Dirk. There are very few honestly perfect moments in life, and this was definitely Todd’s number one. But every moment they shared together was perfect, and now they get to continue having perfect moment together for the rest of their lives. Nothing in the world could ever make Todd any happier.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Ethan as part of the Holistic Gift Exchange! Go follow him on tumblr; prince-of-the-jellies! Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, and Happy Holidays! Hope y'all enjoyed.


End file.
